3.16.2009

a brand spankin' new perspective

It's time to get personal again, peeps.

Yesterday I had a really touching experience that lasted about, oh, a quarter of a mile, but for some reason I can't shake it. And I've always been an open book . . . I like to share my experiences, hopes, worries, concerns, struggles, and goals, with others so that we can unite, so that we feel a little less alone, so that we realize we are real, and flawed, and to perhaps help each other move forward.

I was simply driving to the grocery store with little miss Ava tucked in safe and sound in her car seat, listening to Sunday Brunch on the Moose (a/k/a an amazing collection of acoustic music played on one of our local radio stations from 9-12 every Sunday). The fabulous Ray LaMontagne came on with a song I've only heard a few times but l-o-v-e love, called I Will Shelter You. At the time the song started, I was making decisions in my mind that today was going to be a good day. I was going to simply think differently. Find that very tiny light at the end of what has been a dark tunnel and focus on that only. I wasn't going to worry about money or the recession. I was deciding that we were going to be just fine. Better than fine. Better than we've ever been!

As soon as these thoughts started coming over me in a way I could embrace and really begin to believe, the sun just started beaming through my car window and just glaring down on my face. It was hot and intense and felt amazing . . . and at the same time, Ray screamed at me, over and over again, "I will shelter you! I will shelter you! I will shelter you!" And I started to really believe that things were going to be okay.

So this is the point in time where my family, preferably my mom and sister, have permission to have a good laugh, call me a flake, and sigh "here she goes again with one of her crazy ideas . . . " :)

This has been a very challenging few months for our darling little family. Carson has been a contractor for probably 13 years, and the effect of the recession on his business and income has been traumatizing. While I've experienced a wonderful success with my business, we have still been deeply affected, and it has taken a toll on us physically as well as emotionally. But why does this challenging time in my life need to define who I am? It doesn't. Anymore.

I will admit that I read about half of the much-scrutinized little book The Secret a couple of years ago. At the time, I thought it was nonsense. Rubbish! While I do think the way the book was written is a huge problem in how it spoke to readers, I do understand it now. The book was written with too few dots to connect, but if you can fill in those dots and connect them yourself, then these spiritual teachers are onto something. No, a brand new car will NOT show up in your driveway after a year of wishing really hard for a new car. But it will if you decide that is your goal, and then plan a financial roadmap to get there. It starts with desire but ends in hard work. And is fueled by belief. Lots of belief. You deserve that new car, you work hard for it, and you can afford it. Don't ever let that go.

I remember learning in basic relationship communication when I was a teenager that if you tell someone "you're always this," or "you're always that," that you would only enable them to continue doing this or that. Why? Because that's what they expect from you. It's easier to be this or that than to be something better, and most of the time we do it out of spite just to make a point. My husband has even confirmed this in a very funny story of how one night he went out with the boys and came home much later than he told me. He told me that at some point in the evening, he knew I was going to be upset with him, so why not stay out another few hours? If she's going to be pissed regardless of when I get home, I may as well enjoy another round or two! Woot woot! My point of that story is that once we decide we are something, we usually stick with it.

Today, I have decided we are no longer worried. We are not broke. We have never not fed ourselves a meal of whatever we wanted, when we wanted it. We have never run out of diapers, shampoo or milk and not had the means to go get more. Yes, I miss my Pureology like the desert misses the rain, but John Frieda is doing a fine job. Everything that is truly important, is wonderful. I have a wonderful husband, two freaking beautiful, funny and healthy children. Amazing friends. Amazing clients and colleagues. I have a darling home. I have incredibly supportive and loving families, both on my side and Carson's. Everyone we know and love and spend our time with truly wants the best for us.

Today, I am excited. I actually feel a little lucky that we are in the midst of an economic disaster when I am 29 years old, and not 59. I am happy that we spent so many years living outside of our means, because now I know what it means to live within your means, and I am excited to do that so that I can teach my children how to do that, also. I am changing my thoughts. I have decided that we are going to be wealthy in every way possible. I have stopped thinking my life starts when I pay off my Visa, or when the recession is over, or when my credit score gets back up to 720.

This moment (cliche coming) is all we have . . . invest in it. Choose your thoughts and actions so that they bring you happiness and excitement instead of worry and despair. Give your energy good to the earth, and it will give you back many, many good things. It will shelter you :)

I hope that however this recession has affected you and your loved ones, that you are finding out what true wealth is really all about. I personally think that when all is said and done, we will have a world filled with more believers, healthier bodies and souls, and spend more time acknowledging our true blessings rather than thinking our happiness comes from big homes and kate spade purses.

Or just kate spade purses ;)

Happy Monday everyone!

8 comments:

erika converse said...

Morgs,

It is amazing that over the years and the miles I still feel like we can totally connect. Maybe it's not the recession...maybe you just get to a certain age and think "what in the hell have we been doing?" Ryan and I also have been rethinking a few things lately. Maybe we're getting old...I don't know. But I kind of just think we're getting smarter. After a little life experience, we are finally beginning to understand what is REALLY important--health, happiness, family, and GREAT, GREAT friends ;) Love this post. So glad you shared it!

Any Mom said...

Amen! I wish more people would embrace this opportunity to find out the difference between needs and wants, and maybe quit expecting someone to bail them out. :) I couldn't have said it all better than you did! Talk to you soon girl!

Pam, John, Ryan, Sara said...

Love this post! You are right that it takes something like a recession to really make people realize what is important in life. The selfish thoughts and actions we have all been living are what brought this recession on in the first place. We all need to do a little self-reflection and be happy with the exact things you listed--health, family, and true relationships. Thanks for making us all take a few minutes to think about it and reprioritize our own lives!

Unknown said...

Morgan,
I enjoy this post and can feel the contagious positive energy exuding from you! I normally don't write any comments on your blog, but couldn't resist this one because of its message. I read sometimes (linked from Kate's blog) and have to admit that you're an inspiring woman like your mother. Thanks for this posting:)
Amanda (plattsburgh, friend of your brother and extended Bucci-Lamare family)

Anonymous said...

Very well said!!! Happiness doesn't come from the money you have, the car you drive or house you live in, but the family and friends that you have.

Debbie Frederick said...

Morgan- You have no idea how much you just lifted my spirits by having someone else feel the same way I do and share those feelings. Thank you for your honesty and open personality that brings so much happiness to others.

And of course for your gorgeous pictures.

Debbie :)

Anonymous said...

Morgan, you just keep getting better and better. You summed it all up. You are understanding the true meaning of a good life. Family, friends and happiness. You are beautiful!!!! Love, JoEllen

Anonymous said...

Atta girl! Share what you learn.....learn from sharing. All the best always. Your fav cuz- Matt