8.02.2009

unplugged

If there even are any faithful blog readers left out there, here is my story, uncut, unplugged . . . what I have been going through the past few months since I disappeared from blogger world. I have shared this story before and yet I realized it was too soon. Now I am sharing it because I have shared almost everything on here. And especially because I am a wedding photographer, it is crucially important to me that my clients and friends know that I believe in a love that truly lasts til death do you part.

My husband and I are divorcing.

I show up to photograph weddings feeling undeniably guilty . . . like, what is my right being here when I am in the process of a divorce? Does the couple think I am going to photograph their ceremony thinking, oh, whatever! It is very important to me to say here, absolutely, positively, not. I am not going to give personal details of my situation because it is a very personal situation that doesn't deserve to be tossed around the internet like a salad, but I have put myself out there from day one on this blog. There was a time when blogging was practically my everything . . . as much of a priority as eating. Which I love to do. But since this situation, and not quite knowing what to post about personally without giving away too much information, I put it up on its proverbial shelf and am now ready to take it down, dust it off, and move on.

I believe in love like no other. I watch my couples and my heart turns to a puddle I have to step through so not to get wet and look sloppy while taking their photographs. I feel such excitement for them, and hope. I typically develop wonderful friendships with my brides, where I tell them what I am going through and they support me and love me and hug me and I know even more they are the right person for me to photograph the love they have for their groom.

I don't want to say too much except that I truly do believe love is a choice. It is also a choice that shouldn't be too difficult when you have chosen the right person to spend your life with. I have absolutely no regrets - life is a journey that is to be taken one day at a time, that is to be treasured, and most importantly, spent with the ones who lift you up, make you want to be a better person, and who you truly enjoy your days with. I believe every single decision we make as humans has taken us to this moment, right here, right now, whether we are sad, desperate and lonely, or fulfilled and content with our choices.

My very favorite quote of course comes from some silly refridgerator magnet I read at my sister's house. Everything is going to be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.

Thank you to everyone for their love, support and friendship. Disclaimer: Mean comments will be deleted because mean people suck.

6 comments:

Cindy Cieluch Photography said...

Morgan. You are so brave and beautiful to write about your life and emotions. You are in my prayers. Love, Cindy

Anonymous said...

You take great photographs no matter what your marital status is :) I hope God helps you get through this difficult time.

Melissa said...

Morgan! I read your blog daily and must say that I cannot imagine how hard it was for you to share this information. You are an amazing photographer and when looking at your work I can feel the passion that you have for capturing these beautiful moments. I have only been in the business for a little less than a year and we emailed back and forth some in the beginning. You are one of my very favorite photographers and have been such an inspiration to me. I just want to say thank you! I admire you for sharing your personal story!! I will keep you in my prayers!!! Much love, Melissa

Anonymous said...

Morgan... your an amazing woman/mommy/friend/person. you take amazing photographs and I want you to keep that positive attitude about life! like you said in the end everything will be ok. Cant wait to shoot some photo's with you before the baby is born! Take care! xoxo
natalie

Anonymous said...

Morgan,

I often think about you and I am having another baby in February, so I wanted to get some pics taken of my daugter (LeeAnn), my belly and me. I tried to call you, but your number doesn't work, so I checked your blog (I was truly addicted to it last summer). I read your most recent posts and was heartbroken to find out your situation. You have to be just dying inside, thinking about your girls' future and your own future. Not to say there's not soooooo much waiting for you guys, but it is hard to look passed the now. Somehow I feel partly to blame because we never got out to do that fly fishing trip and our relationship as two couples never flourished the way I hoped..could that have saved your marriage?...Of coruse I don't know what went wrong, but I hope you know my heart and John's heart goes out to you. We think you are such a great person and as I've said before you have done something for us we could never take back and that is, preserve our past for our future. You are a wonderful woman! You deserve a great life! I will e-mail you soon. Sincerely, Chevonne Hall

Sharon said...

I came across this post today... just want you to know that your personal life situation in no way undermines my opinion of you, your work, or makes me doubt my decision to have you as our photographer in a few weeks! Never doubt that!!!