happy thanksgiving!

Ahh, Thanksgiving Eve. I'm wondering how big my tummy will be Friday morning and how much longer it will take to look good in my $200 jeans again after the stuffing coma I am about to experience . . . my plan to be smokin' by 30 is getting a RUSH attached to it since the big day is just over a month away!

Tomorrow the shorties go to their Grandma's for Thanksgiving. It will be the first major holiday I am not officially spending with them, which breaks my heart and yet is something I fully accept all at the same time. My mother and sister were here last week so we did our Thanksgiving a little early so that I felt I had experienced this celebration with them. I know they will have a wonderful time, and I know my day will be lovely spending it with Joe and his family, but once a separation and/or divorce is pending, you can kiss traditional holidays goodbye. It was all I knew growing up, and it is all they will know and remember . . . the important thing, I know, is that their holidays are enjoyable to the max, and filled with excessive amounts of love and joy and laughter.

As the year winds down and we celebrate Thanksgiving, I can't help but get a little emotional thinking about all I am grateful for despite this being a year I'd rather scoop up with my dust pan and throw away, in so many ways. In a thousand more ways, though, it has been filled with growth . . . the friendships I have developed are so insanely perfect I have to pinch myself that I'm not in a dream that I am a cast member on Sex and the City. My mommy meltdown I experienced earlier in the year actually created new, better-behaved children - until Stella hit her 2 1/2-year-mark and now I'm faced with a whole new challenge ;). And if I could snuggle any harder up against the person I am blessed to hear I love you from every night, I would happily live in his pocket. I think what I am most thankful for is knowing that what I have learned the past 29 years and 11 months, and especially the last 11 months, means that I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, in a thousand years, surround myself with people who don't make me feel exactly the way I feel right now.

My family . . . they don't come any better. This year I have loved, lost, let down, disappointed, frustrated, and angered them all at one point or another, but their love and support for me is truly palpable. I am learning this as I go and I probably won't experience the true you'll do anything for your kids cliche until Ava is 10 and accused of knocking out another girl on the playground, and I find myself in the principal's face screaming, That little $*!% asked for it! But I am so, so thankful to them, and sometimes my toughness shines in place of my emotion, and I can't quite express it as I should.

I am also so thankful for my amazing clients, dedicated blog readers, Facebook followers, and random people who I sometimes make smile or laugh in the process of keeping myself entertained while I go back and forth between my computer and keeping my children happy. Every person in my life has made an impact this year, in one way or another, and maybe my first goal of 2010 should be telling you all exactly how.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all! May you have the fortunate opportunity to spend it with people you truly love, and who make your heart happy.

This is a rare moment, but seriously . . . how beautiful are these children?!

:)